Dreaming Out Loud
by Melody Syper Carston
Summary: It was a series of unfortunate events that caused this. GerIta, Spamano. Slight USUK
1. Prologue Poor Unfortunate Soul

**Dreaming Out Loud  
****By: Melody Syper Carston**

Vorspiel: Poor Unfortunate Souls

It was a series of unfortunate events that lead to this. Moving, new schools, bullying, love, and stress; an argument, a car wreck, a death, and a love lost were all key factors in this tragic downfall. Attempted suicide and nervous breakdowns only added fuel to the fire. A path of destruction followed behind in the aftermath. A hollow bitterness marred the once perfect surface.

It left the victim a hollow reminder of what he had once been. Not a single atom was left as a reminder of what he had once been. So bright, so cheerful… now a lifeless shell of a personality.

He was left alone like a masterless marionette, unmoving without someone's guidance. His dull honey brown eyes were glazed and unblinking, and his mouth was pressed into a permanent thin line, the bitter sadness enveloping his life taking away the usual sparkle and smile. He was nothing more than a body, soul—and with it emotions—gone within a month of said tragedies.

He hadn't gone out in the sun in a while, no longer able to function without someone pulling him by the arms down the correct path. His skin was much too pale for its own good. The way it pulled too taut over bone would make anyone cringe. His cheeks no longer held the usually rosy tinge beneath perfect olive skin. His joints were too knobby and if one were to pull up his shirt, each rib would be able to be seen, each countable.

He didn't speak. He hadn't spoken since the day before his brother had found him trying to end his misery by combining alcohol and a bottle of pain killers. That had to have been at least a year ago. The year he had detached himself from the rest of the world. He no longer trusted himself to speak. Afraid of what he would say; afraid of whom he would speak to; afraid of what he would sound like.

He vaguely recognized his brother's voice, talking to the person in the driver's seat and holding a completely normal conversation. His eyes slowly shifted from staring out at the empty fields the three passed to staring almost through his older brother as the two before the victim continued to talk. He wasn't interested for long, opting to watch the fields stretching to his left and rivers extending to his right.

"_Feli…"_ The voice sounded like it was echoing through an underwater tunnel, murky and unfamiliar.

To anyone else in the car, the name would have sounded pained and worried, the brother in the passenger seat glancing at the victim—now known as _Feli_— with a helpless expression. A hand stretched out towards _Feli_, but stopped short as if held back by a barrier of sorts. The brother sighed and let his hand drop, propped up on the back of his seat. His body twisted to sit sideways in order to keep _Feli_ in his peripheral vision while making sure his attention was still on his lover.

_Feli_ didn't react when his name was called, nor did he react to the hand that had reached out for him. For a while he kept his glazed over gaze on the window, as if pretending to be deep in thought even though his mind was completely blank.

"…_Afraid he'll regress…"_ This particular phrase of their back-and-forth pushed its way through _Feli's_ wall of indifference. He blinked as he caught the meaning, but there was no other sign that he was indeed listening to them.

"…_been through a lot…needs time… change'll help him…"_ this was his brother's lover speaking. He was an understanding, caring man that could sometimes be slightly oblivious. He had been through his fair share of traumatic events—his brother had once found him on the edge of a psychotic breakdown, smashing any glass he could get his hands on and shoving the shards deep into his arms and thighs, "because he didn't want to remember." _Feli _liked the man. His brother's lover knew what _Feli _was going through, and he knew how to comfort _Feli's_ brother when the topic of the victim's condition became too sensitive.

There was a pause in which only the radio—playing some upbeat song in Italian, that didn't fit the sullen atmosphere of the car in the slightest—could be heard.

"_He doesn't like car rides," _His brother spoke again, casting another upset look at _Feli_, whom still hadn't lifted his gaze from the fields and rivers. _"Ever since the accident…" _his brother's voice once again faded out.

_Feli's_ eyes widened slightly, a shaky breath escaping his lips. And suddenly the scene was changing before him.

_The fields and rivers were replaced with a night's winter storms and some random highway in Berlin. The backseat of the charcoal Maserati GranCabrio he was seated in was replaced by the passenger seat of a silver Audi R8. His brother and his brother's lover disappeared and were replaced by a familiar blonde haired, blue-eyed young man—. _

"_Feli…?"_ The voice seemed even more distant than it usually sounded as of late, and for a flash of time, _Feli _was pulled back to the present, his eyes once more catching sight of the fields and rivers around him.

But only for a moment.

"_Feli…!" _The way his brother called out to him reminded him all too well of _the accident_.

—_Another flash; the R8 was fishtailing, black ice too slick and the sports car turning to fast. A scream pierced the winter night's air. As Feli watched, the darkness of the highway was intercepted by a bright duet of lights—._

"_Feliciano!"_ The voice broke through the memory, loud and clear.

Feliciano started at the sound of his name being called, a silent scream etched into his face, his body shirking as far into his seat as possible. He brought his knees up to his chest, and his arms snaked around them. He buried his head between his legs, sucking in large gulps of air to calm himself once again.

The scream of the blonde-haired-blue-eyed man as the Audi was crushed repeated over and over in his mind.

**X~*~X**

"_I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, and all at once it's so familiar to see. I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud. I can't find a puzzle to fit any piece of part of me."_

"**I don't see why people add disclaimers to their stories. I mean obviously they don't own it, or they would be multimillionaires that actually did something with their lives instead of writing things for fanfiction. If they actually owned all of this shit, then it would have actually happened, and they wouldn't even bother to think about this dumbass website." -One of my friends on disclaimers**

**~Melody Syper Carston**


	2. 1 New Soul

**Dreaming Out Loud  
****By: Melody Syper Carston**

Kapitel Eins: New Soul

Feliciano was lost. It was as simple as that. He was new to this school, his brother had left him to fend for himself because he had already found his class, and Feliciano had ended up lost. It wasn't that he minded, no. He quite enjoyed exploring the new school, and he wasn't late for class yet; but Feliciano would much rather explore _with_ someone than alone. He felt that if he got lost with_out_ someone, no one would find him. Plus, if he were to get lost _with_ someone, at least he wouldn't be _alone_.

Feliciano frowned, turning in a complete circle with a hand on his hip. He had no idea what hall he was on; and he definitely had no clue as to what hall his Geometry class was on. The Italian made a small noise of frustration in the back of his throat and turned back towards the intersection of hallways; he didn't mean to run into someone in the process, though.

"Oh! I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to run into—" Feliciano's soon-to-be babble was cut off by a loud laugh. He looked up at the boy he ran into, with an apologetic expression.

He was albino; that was the first thing that caught his attention. Pale complexion, silvery hair, and ruby red eyes. The second thing Feliciano noticed was the teen's overly sharp teeth. Feliciano immediately shrunk away from the albino.

"Woah, chill! I'm not gonna hurtcha. I'm way too _awesome_ to stoop down to hurting such a cute kid, _ja_?" He smirked haughtily. "You new here, kiddo? Never seen ya around here before." The thick German accent made his voice sound rough.

Feliciano nodded. "_Mio fratello_ and I moved here Friday afternoon. I was given only a brief tour, and I'm not exactly sure how to find my classes." He bounced almost nervously on the balls of his feet, hands clasped behind his back.

The albino nodded. "Awesome, here, can help ya, kiddo. What's your first class?" He grabbed at the folded schedule peaking out of the Italian's back pocket (earning a small squeak from the boy) and smoothed it out before studying it carefully. "Kesese, you have first block with _mein bruderlein_! He's a good kid, way too uptight and sometimes a little bossy, but I'm sure you two can get along just fine! He may even loosen up a bit! I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt, by the way." With that said, Gilbert started walking down the hall, Feliciano's schedule still in his hand. "This way, kiddo."

The bell rang shortly afterwards.

Feliciano hurried after him, a bounce in his step. "Ve! _Grazie_, Mr. Beilschmidt! You're really awesome for helping!" He smiled, finally catching up to the self-proclaimed Awesomeness.

"I'm so awesome, but call me Gilbert. 'Mr. Beilschmidt' makes me sound like my old man," he cringed. "And I know you prob'ly don't mind me calling ya 'kiddo,' but I'd love to get a name or something." His ruby eyes flickered over to the Italian as they turned down another hall.

Feliciano gasped. "S-sorry! How rude of me; I completely forgot to introduce myself. I'm Feliciano Vargas. But my friends and family call me Feli."

Gilbert pushed open the door of the math class and strutted inside. "_Hallo_, all you kiddies! Awesome is here to brighten your dreary days."

"Mr. Beilschmidt, what are you doing… walking in on my class? I thought… I got rid of you… two years ago. Shouldn't you be in… your Psychology class… right now?" the teacher asked in monotone, frowning at the conceited albino. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against his desk, waiting for the teen to answer his question or better yet leave. Of course, he got the former much to his dismay.

Gilbert smiled endearingly. "You can never get rid of the awesomeness that is Gilbert, Mr. Karpusi! But don't be too flattered; I'm only being a _nice, helpful _senior and helping this cute newbie find his class, _ja_?" He gestured to Feliciano.

The teacher, now known as Mr. Karpusi, nodded stiffly before turning to the Italian. "You must be… Mr. Vargas. Your grandfather talks… a lot about you and your brother." He gestured for the Italian to step forward. "Thank you… Beilschmidt. You are no longer… needed here. Back to class, now. Vargas, come introduce yourself to the class."

Gilbert waved to the class, stopping at a blonde's desk to mutter something quietly in German before slapping the younger blonde on the back and leaving. A loud, "Kesesesesesese!" echoing behind him.

Feliciano flitted to the front of the room, waving enthusiastically. "Ve~! Ciao~ I'm Feliciano Vargas, but my friends and _famiglio _call me Feli. Mio _fratello_ and I moved here from Italy! Ve~ Pastaa!" he babbled, happily, making eccentric hand motions he spoke.

Mr. Karpusi nodded slowly once Feliciano had finished talking, yawning behind his hand. "Okay… you can sit… wherever you can find an empty seat."

The brunette glanced around the room, claiming the first empty seat he spotted. Behind the blonde boy that Gilbert had been talking to before he left.

The class went quite smoothly. Feliciano excelled in the lesson, for he had already learned Geometric Mean in his studies in Italy. He had already gotten as good as he was going to get on the subject, and he was ready to study a new topic. Feliciano wasn't a fan of learning for more than a few minutes if he had already studied the topic. It just seemed redundant. But he, at least, tried to make it look like he was paying attention. After growing bored of his fascination of Mr. Karpusi's ability to turn any word problem into one about cats, he doodled pictures of different animals subtly in the margins of his notes, and once he had given up on note taking all together, the Italian had started working on a portrait of his Geometry teacher on the rest of the blank paper.

He jumped when the bell rang, not expecting the noise. With a small, nervous chuckle; the Italian stood and gathered his things carefully. He realized that he still had no idea how to get to his next class and he had no idea where Gilbert or his brother were at the time. Once he straightened up, he noticed the blonde that he was sitting behind was still in the classroom, talking to Mr. Karpusi quietly. Feliciano waited for the blonde to finish his conversation before he bounced over and poked his shoulder in an attempt to catch his attention.

The intimidating stare that he received made the Italian squeak and shrink away.

Taking a breath and calming himself down, Feliciano found his voice, "U-um C-ciao… I'm Feli—"

The blonde nodded, "I know. You introduced yourself already."

"O-oh, right. Well, um, I was wandering if you could help me find my next class? I'm new here and I only got a brief tour, so I'm not the best at navigating the halls." He pulled out his schedule and showed it to the blonde.

The blonde gave the brunette a calculating look before turning his attention towards the schedule. "Ja, I'm Ludwig by the way. Gilbert's bruder. I saw you walk in with him this morning; try not to get caught in one of his idiotic schemes," Ludwig shook his head to clear his thoughts before he continued, "You and I have the next class together, as well."

Feliciano perked up at this, "Ve~ Really? Fantastico!" He clapped his hands in excitement.

Ludwig blinked at the reaction, but said nothing more, opting to lead the way to the next class. He easily made his way through the throng of people, almost smirking when people automatically moved to give him room. _Almost._ Every once in a while, he would turn to make sure the bubbly Italian was still behind him; he had the feeling that if he lost the boy, he would not hear the end of it from _any_body.

The class, World History, went fairly smoothly. Feliciano seemed to fit in quite well with the class and was even invited to sit with a few groups at lunch, although he never answered any of the requests. He merely smiled and continued to babble on and on. The teachers seemed to enjoy his company, finding his attitude to be quite positive and even adorable in some cases.

Third block was literature. The Italian shared this class with his brother much to his brother's dismay. Feliciano was informed, with a frown from his twin, that the class was currently reading Romeo and Juliet—one of Lovino's _least_ favourite pieces by Shakespeare. The younger brother didn't mind, though. He _liked_ the story of the star-crossed lovers, although it made him cry every time he read it.

After third block was lunch. He and Lovino made their way—along with the rest of the student body—to the cafeteria to try and find a table to eat at.

"Oi! Vargas!" a loud voice called from across the huge room. "Come sit over here with us, _ja?_"

Feliciano spotted the speaker almost immediately, and dragged his brother, who was trying to balance two trays in his hands, over to the self-proclaimed _awesome_ albino. "Ve~ Ciao!" He waved happily to the people sitting round the table. It didn't take long for him to choose the seat next to Ludwig.

Lovino scoffed, sitting the trays down on the table so that he could place his hands on his hips. "Like _hell_ I'm sitting with these bastards. I've heard enough about _you,"_—here he jabbed a finger at the albino's chest with a sneer—"to know not to associate with you and your posse."

Gilbert smirked, "Oh, really? From what I hear, you seemed to get along rather well with _Antonio_." He leaned back casually in his seat, picking up a fry and twirling it in his hands before popping it into his mouth. He watched with amusement as the feisty Italian's face went from an angry pink to a furious crimson.

The Italian turned sharply, staring at the Spaniard that had just walked up with fiery green eyes. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that these…_bastards _were your friends?" he yelled, earning many strange stares from all over the room.

Antonio raised an eyebrow, not at all sure how to respond. After a long pause, the Spanish boy finally sat down next to Gilbert and answered, "You never asked me." He smiled brightly at the Italian boy as if he had just won a prize.

Feliciano sighed and grabbed his brother's shirttail, dragging him into a seat. "Come on, Lovi. Just because Toni hangs out with other people doesn't mean you should be jealous. You should try to make friends with them too! Ve~ Gil's really nice and Ludwig isn't as mean as he looks!"

"_Bonjour mes amis!_" a voice behind the group greeted as another two seats were filled. "Ohonhon, and who might these two be?" A hand reached out and gently tilted Lovino's face up (earning a sharp 'Chigi!' from the Italian boy), fiery green meeting bright sapphire. "You must be one of the new transfers. You know, they say that Italians are always the best lovers—" he didn't get any farther than that, for the sapphire-eyed-French's face was suddenly being ground into the table, an arm pinned behind his back.

A husky voice spoke in warning, "Touch him again and I'll chop your dick off and feed it to you, Francis."

Francis struggled against the hold, trying to break free. "Antoine, _mon_ _cher_, you don't seriously mean that!" There was a pause before the French teen spoke again. "_Please_ let me go…"

Feliciano squeaked and buried his face in Ludwig's arm, not wanting to see how the scene turned out. "Are they always like this?" He asked nervously.

Gilbert answered for the group with a laugh. "Not _usually_. 'Tonio rarely ever acts this way; the idiot's too obliviously happy most of the time."

"But every once in a while, when he finds something he really likes, he goes into this protective mode and won't let _any_thing or _any_body touch or harm it." A British accent was quite obviously laced through this boy's voice. His emerald green eyes shown with curiosity and his whole persona screamed punk, from the attitude to the tight clothes to the acid green streak in his blonde hair. "I'm Arthur Kirkland, by the way."

Lovino groaned and buried his face in his hands, earning a worried look from the Spaniard and a sympathetic look from his brother.

"What's wrong, Lovi? Are you alright?" Antonio asked, dropping Francis to go and inspect the older of the two Italians.

Said Italian took this time to ball up a fist and swing it forward, hitting its target with enough force to knock the Spaniard off balance and sprawled into the floor next to the French teen. "I _just_ met you, bastard, and you've already got an obsession? And don't call me Lovi!"

This earned a loud laugh from Arthur.

Feliciano flinched at the sound of the Spaniard being knocked to the ground, not lifting his face from where it was still buried in Ludwig's arm. "Ve~ Loviii~" The sound came out in a quiet whine.

Luckily, before things could get any worse, the bell for the end of lunch sounded and Lovino snatched his brother away from the German with a quiet growl of, "Stay away from _mio_ _fretallini_, potato-freak." He dragged his brother out of the room, and down the halls they went once again searching for their next class.

Last block was advanced art, the twin's favourite subject. As soon as they stepped into the room, they could smell the drying paints and fresh clay. The two had both been looking forward to this block all day. They were to draw portraits of the person they were sitting across from, using whatever medium they'd like.

The class seemed rather impressed with Feliciano's work, although it wasn't exactly anywhere close to being finished. Paintings took steady hands and patience, after all. Lovino, too, seemed to create a rather impressive portrait of his brother, his in charcoal.

"Ve~ Wow, _fratello_! You've improved since the last time you drew me! It's really great!" Feliciano squealed out, bouncing in his seat slightly.

**X~*~X**

They were packing their bags when the bell rang. Feliciano flitting to Lovino's side and entwining their arms, the twins set out for the parking lot, bags tossed over their shoulders, arms slipping from their grasp and instead fingers finding their other half's, sunglasses slipped into place.

"Who's driving?" Lovino asked as they approached the charcoal grey Maserati GranCabrio. He let go of Feliciano's hand to dig through his bag for the keys to the car before turning back to his brother, key suspended between them.

Feliciano's hand shot up in the air. "Ve~ Oooh! Pick me! Pick me! I wanna drive!" He practically ripped his brother's arm off trying to grab the keys. With another, 've;' he turned and marched around his brother to the driver's side.

"Woah! Dude, this is ya'll's ride?" A loud and obnoxious voice questioned as Feliciano unlocked the car and moved to slide behind the wheel.

Lovino scoffed as he too slid into the car, him on the passenger side. "No. We're thieves and my brother actually knows how to hotwire a car," he snapped. He gave the blonde that had inquired an incredulous look. "Who else's would it be, idiot?"

The blonde seemed oblivious to the insults and merely laughed. "Well the principal, he's always gettin' new rides and stuff, so we just sorta figured…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Nice ride, though. Wish I had something that gorgeous. I'm broke though." He shrugged here.

Feliciano spoke this time, "Well, ours was a gift from _Nonno_ when we turned sixteen! It's this year's model, though."

Lovino muttered something under his breath about bribery and the mafia.

The blonde grinned, still eyeing the car, but whatever was going on in that dense head of his was cut short by a yell across the lot. "Well, I gotta go! Seeya two later! I'm Alfred _justsoyaknow, _but most know me as _the hero!_ We should totally hang out sometime by the way!" and then the boy was gone, lost in a crowd of matching uniformed people and beat up cars.

Feliciano was quiet for a while, merely sitting at the wheel with a blissful smile on his dopey face.

Lovino sighed and turned to his brother, speaking slowly, "Are you going to drive…? Or are we just going to sit here until tomorrow?"

This seemed to pull the younger twin out of his thoughts with a violent jump. "Oh right! Of course! Ve~!"

Lovino laughed at the shocked faces of students trying to jump out of the way as the young Italian suddenly floored the accelerator.

**X~*~X**

_i"I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, and all at once it's so familiar to see. I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud. I can't find a puzzle to fit any piece of part of me."/i_

**A/N: I find a bit of Yandere!Spain to be quite amusing. And he's just the right type of clingy person to attach himself to someone almost immediately. (Much like Italy usually.)**

"**I don't see why people add disclaimers to their stories. I mean obviously they don't own it, or they would be multimillionaires that actually did something with their lives instead of writing things for fanfiction. If they actually owned all of this shit, then it would have actually happened, and they wouldn't even bother to think about this dumbass website." -One of my friends on disclaimers**

**~Melody Syper Carston**


	3. 2 Iridescent

**Dreaming****Out****Loud****  
By Melody Syper Carston**

Kapitel Zwei: Iridescent

"Vargas, if you plan on passing my class, you best start planning on staying awake for more than ten minutes at a time," a voice warned in the young Italian's ear, "or your grandfather will be informed of your less than satisfactory grades."

This earned a loud squeak from the auburn-headed boy, his body shooting up into a, now, very alert position. "I'm awake!" he cried, eyes popping open for _maybe_ the second time since he had moved to America. His cheeks burned pink at being caught _once again_ sleeping in Mr. Karpusi's class.

A snigger erupted through the class as students turned to observe the scene. This, of course, quickly turned into a full out laugh when they noticed the drool on the poor boy's face.

Feliciano's face felt like it was on fire, crimson flooding his face as his arm reached up to wipe away the slobber. "S-sorry," it came out as a squeak, mixed with fear and embarrassment. For a while—even after the class had settled down and Karpusi had made his way to the front of the class again—the Italian continued to scrub at his mouth, tears pricking the corner of his eyes, face still burning bright crimson.

"It's gone, Feliciano; stop. You're going to give yourself fabric-burns," Ludwig murmured slowly, not needing to turn around for he could still here the rustle of the slightly-younger boy's uniform. His voice was low enough that no one, but Feliciano and him could hear it, loud enough that the Italian could still hear the commanding edge laced through it.

The sound stopped, and the blonde chanced turning around to look at the boy.

Cheeks were slowly losing the excess color, now mere ruddy blotches here and there. Eyes were glassy with unshed, embarrassed tears. Mouth was pulled into a half-frown-half-smile type expression that only Feliciano could make _and_ pull off.

Ludwig opened his mouth to mutter a soft condolence when a sharp cough interrupted him. Like a whip, the blonde's head twisted around to see Mr. Karpusi sending him a pointed look.

"You do know that you're father… is right down the hall, yes? I could easily retrieve him… and let him handle you, Beilschmidt. Will that be necessary?"

An audible gulp from the blonde could be heard anywhere in the room. The thought of his _vater _"handling" him definitely made the German want to pay more attention to the class. His father was quite an intimidating man, and he wasn't one to stay on the man's bad side.

No, that was _Gilbert_.

The blonde German mumbled a small, "No, sir," and didn't turn back around for the rest of the block no matter how much he wanted to.

When the bell finally rang, Feliciano and Ludwig gathered their belongings before exiting the room. Not even two steps out of the door; Feliciano was being teased all over again, much to the Italian's dismay. Ludwig growled as he watched the students laugh mockingly and drag their arms across their mouths dramatically.

"Don't want to have to call your grandfather, Feli~! Better pay attention, boy!" one of them—a football player—jeered. "What was it that you called him…?"

"_Nonno_…" Feliciano answered, slowly sliding behind Ludwig for protection.

"_Nonno_! _That's_ his name! Do you run to him and bawl like you do any other time you're scared? How _cute,_" Sarcasm laced this one's voice.

"How _weak_."

A hand on Feliciano's shoulder made him squeak quietly and freeze up as another person spoke up, "He should need to come running to me when he's scared. No one should be treating him horribly enough to scare him. Isn't that right, Feli?" The hand squeezed the smaller Italian's shoulder reassuringly.

Eyes widened at the familiar sound of his grandfather and the protective yet comforting hold on the boys shoulder. "Nonno."

The voice turned stern as it was directed at the group of boys. "I want to see the six of you in my office _now_; this is by no means the way to treat a fellow student."

Mouths pop open in shock, words jumble together in attempted protests and weak complaints. Their attempts were fruitless, though, for they did not sway the man. Finally admitting defeat, the boys huffed and walked past the trio, purposely brushing their shoulders against the smaller Italians, some muttering things for only the auburn haired boy to hear, such as, "We aren't through with you, Vargas."

The halls were clear by now, save for Romulus, Feliciano and Ludwig. The bell—signaling the start of class—rang promptly as the principal turned to his grandson, hands still holding the boy by the shoulders. "Are you alright, Feli? They didn't try to—"

Feliciano shook his head, biting his lip as tears welled up in his eyes for the second time that day. "No, it was nothing. I'm fine, Nonno," he answered shortly. A shuddering breath escaping his lips.

As this was going on, Ludwig suddenly found the clock on the wall to his left _very_ interesting. He felt he shouldn't have seen what he just did and definitely shouldn't witness the rest of it.

**X~*~X**

Lunch was an awkward affair, the teasing long since forgotten, but something else hung bitterly in the air, weighing down the shoulders of the group and not letting up. Many shifted anxiously in their seats, scanning the packed and rambunctious cafeteria while others found one spot to stare at and didn't move for several minutes.

Finally, Feliciano mustered up the courage to ask that question going through everyone's mind: "Ve~ Where's Gilbert?"

Ah, yes; that was the problem. Gilbert wasn't there to joke and laugh and make the day brighter. He hadn't been seen at all today except for a very short time in first block. According to Francis, "He just up and left in the middle of lessons, walked straight out of the room. I don't know what that was all about. And he didn't look angered or anything like that. Maybe a _little_ upset."

Ludwig had frowned at the news. "Maybe we should search for him? We still have ten minutes until next block, and I'd like to make sure my bruder isn't doing something completely stupid or life threatening." This earned a nod from just about everyone at the table, save for Romano. Standing, the group split into pairs and walked off in different directions.

Feliciano bounced along Ludwig's side. "Ve~ Ludwig, Ludwig! Where are we going?" He grabbed onto the blonde's arm, eyes squeezed into their usual happy grin.

Ludwig stopped as they reached the auditorium, checking to make sure no one was inside. They slipped through the double doors and down the stairs to the stage. "Check the pit," he muttered as he started searching under the platforms on the stage. "Gilbert likes to hide in random places when he's Skipping. Never popular places like the locker rooms, the bathrooms, his car, et cetera."

There was a short pause; the only sound to be heard was the shuffle of feet. And then a distant, "Nope! Ve~ All clear! He's not in the tiny room down here either! Or under the stairs!"

The German grit his teeth as he too came up short. His brother wasn't on the stage, nor was he under the stage, nor was he in the wings to the left and right of the stage, nor was he in the classroom behind the stage. He turned to the Italian, who was now on stage swaying innocently and waiting for his next instruction; Ludwig motioned for the boy to follow him as they make their way through a maze of curtains. Easily locating the ladder to the catwalk above, the German motioned upwards before he began to climb.

Feliciano followed, quietly mentioning, "Ve~ That looks scary~!" He was curious, though, so he followed the blonde, anyways. Down the catwalk towards a balcony that was cluttered with excess costumes and old stage props, there was another set of stairs. Once the two had _very carefully_ climbed over the railing of the catwalk and had grasped the railing of the balcony, they pulled themselves up, slid under the gap between the metal bars, and made their way over to the stairs. Ludwig climbed first, unlocking the huge metal door and pushing it open to reveal the clear blue sky. The Italian soon copied.

"Careful there's a gap."

Feliciano unconsciously looked down, letting out a shrill squeal as he realized how high up he was. The concrete sidewalk below looked quite intimidating at this level and the "gap" was more like a gutsy leap of faith between the auditorium and the roof of the school. He swallowed, throat suddenly too dry.

"Jump, Feliciano," Ludwig commanded from the other side. "You're _not_ going to _fall_."

The Italian hesitated, taking a step but shrinking back once more. "I-I—"

"I won't let you fall. Take a running start if you need to." He held out a hand expectantly.

Feliciano mutter quietly in Italian, shaking his head before backing up a couple of steps. He leaped—squeezing his eyes shut even tighter than they had been in the process—foot barely managing to catch on the other side. Arms steadied him by the waist, and then they were gone. He smiled timidly, "Ve~ That was fun!"

Ludwig couldn't stop the tiny smile from tugging at his lips as he motioned for the smaller Italian to follow him once more. His eyes scanned the area, searching for the group he was sure to find up here. And he definitely wasn't wrong: Three figures ahead of the duo caught the German's attention. The three were sprawled out on their backs, looking quite comfortable where they were.

"Bruder, have you been up here all this time?" Ludwig called as he reached the trio.

Gilbert, sandwiched in between two blondes, sat up and stretched. "And what if I was?" he asked, a challenging look in his eyes.

Ludwig rolled his eyes, crouching down in front of his brother. "Well, you promised Vater that you wouldn't skip anymore, for one thing." He vaguely noted Feliciano plopping down next to him. "You're usually pretty good at keeping your promises."

The albino waved a hand dismissively. "What Vati doesn't know won't kill him. I'm not missing anything important that I can't make up later. Besides, everyone needs a mental health day every once in a while, right guys?" he turned to the two blondes that were still sprawled on their backs, eyes flickering between the two.

"Mhm," the two agreed.

Gilbert turned to Feliciano; eyes alight with curiosity, "So little birdies told me that you were being teased after first block this morning." At this, the two blondes sat up, obviously curious about what went on while they were gone. "Care to fill Awesome in on the details?" The albino leaned back on his hands, tilting his head up towards the sun and letting his eyes slip close.

"V-ve~? Birdies?" Feliciano glanced around.

Gilbert nodded his head towards the blonde on his right and then to the one on his left. "Birdie, introduce yourself. You too, Ivan."

The blonde on the left nodded in acknowledgement. "I'm Ivan Braginski. Call me Ivan." Something about the smile Ivan gave Feliciano made the Italian boy shudder.

The boy on the right waved shyly. "U-um… Hello, I'm Matthieu."

Gilbert opened one eye. "_Any_way," he shook his head, clearing thoughts so that he could get back on topic. "Details about this morning?"

So Feliciano, with a soft sigh, explained what went down that morning, how he had fallen asleep and embarrassed himself in front of the entire class, and then how they had proceeded to tease him for it, and finally how his grandfather had happened to be wandering the halls at just the right time. "It was no big deal… maybe a _little_ scary…"

"You sound like you are speaking from the experience," Ivan commented.

Feliciano shrugged slightly. "Lovi used to get beaten up at our old school because of his smart mouth. And I used to get beat up for trying to defend him." A dark look was suddenly replacing the once carefree one.

Gilbert sat up straight, suddenly very alert, "How bad did it get?"

Another shrug. "That's why we moved here. To get away from Italy. To get away from those… _bastards._" His shoulders shook in rage. "They ran us from our _home_."

The albino raised a brow in surprise, not pushing for anymore answers. He began digging in his pocket, instead, locating a beat up carton of cigarettes. "Hey, _chill_, kiddo. Want one?" He took one for himself, turning towards Ivan for the Russian to light it—for no one trusted Gilbert with fire of any sort—before holding out the pack for the usually bubbly Italian. "Take one." This time it was more of a command.

Said boy raised a hand as if he were going to take one but hesitated, curling his fingers inwards loosely. "Ve~ I _really_ shouldn't. I promised Lovi I wouldn't touch another cigarette after we moved." His fingers acted on their own accord though, for he already had one between his lips and his hands were already searching for his lighter.

The five didn't move from the roof until after the final bell rang. By that time, Gilbert's last pack of cigarettes was long gone and they had run out of topics to talk about, opting to sleep sit in a comfortable silence. Gilbert had somehow managed to fall asleep, head in Ivan's lap and feet curled up in Ludwig's. Feliciano had only managed to doze off for a couple of minutes before they had started shifting and standing.

"Hey, Feli, rise and shine, _liebling._" Gilbert muttered, shaking the Italian into a half alert state. "School's out and I wouldn't want to leave ya behind. That'd be cruel, not awesome." He snorted, holding out a hand to hoist the younger boy upwards.

"Ve~ _Grazie_, Gil!" Feliciano smiled, bouncing up and following the albino towards the auditorium once more.

**X~*~X**

Lovino was _pissed_. Not only had he heard about the boys that had teased his _fratellini_, but he had also noticed that his brother had not been in their last block class and was now standing right in front of him. "Where the hell were you?" he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "I had to cover for you last block, and coming up with an excuse on such a short notice is not a simple task, idiot!"

Feliciano smiled timidly, "Sorry, _fratello_. We found Gilbert, though! He was on the roof with two others. And Ludwig and I just sort of… stayed." He shrugged as if skipping class were no big deal.

Lovino scoffed. "I can't believe you! You skip class and decided to hang out with potato freaks of all people?" His nose scrunched in disgust and his eyes flashed with sudden suspicion. The older Italian leaned forward and grimaced. "Ugh! You reek! Have you been smoking again?"

The younger twin's eyes locked with the ground, suddenly finding his shoes to be a very interesting study. "Ve~… I-I'm sorry, fratello…" He wrung his hands, guilty.

"We went through this, Feli! Smoking just _kills_ you faster! Not only that but it causes cancer of the lungs, throat, and mouth. You said you'd stop! Who gave you cigarettes?"

"G-Gil…"

A growl ripped from Lovino's throat. He opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by a loud yell across the lot. Both Italians turned to see what the commotion was, curious.

"I can't believe I trusted you for a _minute_ let alone two whole months! God, why am I so stupid?" Arthur was yelling, green eyes ablaze with hatred and frustration. "How dare you go behind my back and _sleep_ with her? How dare you think I'd be okay with that?"

Francis frowned, "Oh, like you haven't thought of doing the same thing!"

Arthur scoffed. "I didn't _go through_ with it! She's in _junior high_ no less!"

"Just because she's a couple of years younger than I am doesn't mea—"

"_Five_ years, Francis. You're _eighteen_! If she tells her parents about this, they could press charges for Second Degree Sexual Assault! That's up to forty years of prison, Francis. _Forty _years!" Arthur paused, trying to recompose himself. "What if she gets pregnant? What if you gave her an STD that could affect the rest of her life?"

"How dare you think that I have a sexually transmitted disease?" Francis yelled, a look of disgust clearly etched into his face.

"_That's not the point!_"

There was a pause in which both blondes sent death glares back and forth.

Finally, Arthur sucked in a deep breath of air and spoke, slowly and lowly, "Get out of my sight. Out of my life. I knew this wasn't going to work out in the first place because of your _fucking_ reputation." When the older blonde still didn't move, Arthur growled and raised a hand, bringing it down to strike the older hard against the cheek. A nice bright red handprint slowly started blooming across the French's face. "Get. Out. Of my. Life." He growled out again.

Francis, with one final sneer, stormed away from the younger, smaller blonde. "I never liked you anyways. I only dated you to make her jealous." He called cruelly over his shoulder.

**X~*~X**

"_I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, and all at once it's so familiar it seems. I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, can't find the puzzle that fits any piece of part of me…"_

A/N: Oh, FrUKing drama how I love thee so…

"**I don't see why people add disclaimers to their stories. I mean obviously they don't own it, or they would be multimillionaires that actually did something with their lives instead of writing things for fanfiction. If they actually owned all of this shit, then it would have actually happened, and they wouldn't even bother to think about this dumbass website." -One of my friends on disclaimers**

**~Melody Syper Carston**


	4. 3 The Red

**Dreaming Out Loud  
****By: Melody Syper Carston**

Kapitel Drei: The Red

"Lovi~!"

Said Italian turned, with a scowl, towards the Spaniard behind him. "What do you want, bastardo? And stop calling me Lovi!"

"Aw, but _Lovi_ is such a cute name! And it makes you blush! You look so cute when you're blushing! Just like a tomato~!" It took the sunny boy some time before he remembered why he had called the Italian's name in the first place. "Come sit here!" Antonio patted the stool to his right with one hand while propping his head up on the desk with the other tucked under his chin, giving the brunette a bright smile. When the Italian hadn't moved, the Spaniard sighed and took to poking out his bottom lip in a pout, begging, "Por favor?"

Lovino rolled his eyes and slumped down on the stool next to the older boy. "Fine, as long as you never beg like that again. It won't work next time, tomato-freak," he ground out, sending the older boy a glare that could freeze even the sunniest of Spaniards. He faced forward after that, not even sending a sideways glance towards Antonio.

Antonio watched the Italian with mild curiosity as the younger boy rifled through his notebook for paper. He liked the kid a lot already, even though they had only ever talked to each other at lunch or when grouped together in class. He really didn't see the kid much after that. But he found the small meetings meant a lot to him, cherishing each moment he had with the feisty Italian boy. Antonio's smile twisted into a smirk as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Lovino. He leaned his weight against the younger boy's side, letting out a dramatically contented sigh.

Lovino froze when arms, unexpectedly, wrapped themselves around his waist, eliciting a _completely_ manly shriek from the boy. He worked his hardest to remove the arms from his torso as fast as he possibly could but gave up when he realized that Antonio was much stronger than he looked. "D-Don't scare me like that, asshole! You could've given me a damn heart attack!" he growled, leaning forward and burying his face in the crook's of his elbows in hopes of dragging the class's attention away from his now _way_ too hot face.

Antonio merely laughed, squeezing Lovino's waist once more before letting fo of the embarrassed boy.

Things were quiet for a while, both boys copying down the notes on the board and then finishing up the lab they hadn't finished yesterday. The only things discussed were which chemicals to put where from Lovino—who added in a small curse here or there—and a small nod or calculation from Antonio. As they cleaned their station, Antonio gathered his thoughts. He sucked in a breath of air as if it held all of the encouragement in the world as he turned towards the short-tempered Italian—completely oblivious—next to him. "So Lovi…" he started, a shy grin slinking across his face. He paused, waiting for a sign that Lovino was listening before he continued, "Could we maybe hand out, this Saturday? I was going to go into the city for a while; I could show you around…" he let his voice trail off, quirking upwards in an offer.

Lovino was quiet for a beat, thinking about if seeing the city with the Spaniard was worth his time. "What are we going to be doing in the city?" he finally asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the counter, they had been standing behind.

"Whatever you feel like doing~! We could go shopping… We could see a movie… We could eat dinner… We could simply walk around. It's up to you~!" A smile trailed the end of the sentence.

A light blush dusted the Italian's face as he watched the smile spread like wildfire across the sunny boy's face. "F-fine. I'll go with you," he muttered. "as long as you pay for dinner and we can do a little shopping."

If possible, the smile grew brighter as the Spaniard squealed happily and bounced on his feet in excitement. He threw his arms around the Italian's neck and squeezed him tightly, "Of course, Lovi~!"

"Get _off_ me, tomato _bastard_!"

**X~*~X**

"Lovi~!"

Lovino turned to watch as his brother effortlessly maneuvered his way through the throng of students separating them and looped his arm through the older brother's arm in less than a minute. "What are you doing here?" he asked, directing his brother towards their last block class, feet moving towards the classroom on their own accord. "I thought you were planning to leave early."

Feliciano grinned, "Plans are canceled. Ve~ Besides, all I was going to do was go home to get a head start on my siesta." As he said this, he reached into his bag for his sketchpad. "I heard Toni asked you out on a date on Saturday~! That's _fantastico_!"

Lovino stopped short of their table, placing his hand on his hip and scoffing. "It's not a _date_! He just offered to give me a tour of the city. We're going shopping. That's _all_," he huffed, sitting across from his twin. "_Idiota_ _fretallino_…"

"Right… of course, _fratello_. _Not_ a date," Feliciano shook his head. "But if you do go shopping, tell me if there are any good stores. I haven't gone shopping since the week before we left Italy."

Their teacher entered the classroom, cutting off all conversation by closing the door and clapping his hands, "Alright, I have a meeting, so I'll be leaving someone else in charge. Your assignment is simple,"—here he began walking over to his desk to grab a stack of papers that he handed to the closest student, adding a short, 'take one and pass'—"You'll have the rest of this year to work on these. Here's your prompt: Memories. I want you to choose a memory that stands out the most in your mind: it can be a happy memory, a bad memory, or a series of memories. And I want you to incorporate it into this project. Choose any one or series of mediums. You can paint it; you can sculpt it; if you want to go digital and make a video or something, you can do that too! It doesn't matter. Be creative: I don't want some sad-half-assed attempt. We _will_ be presenting these, and we _will_ be critiquing. The best ofs will be displayed in the school or in more competitions: big money prizes there, guys."

He checked his watch and cursed quietly, "I want you all to talk about it, today. Brainstorm and sketch out ideas. I have to go! Behave!" And with that, he was gone.

As soon as he was out of sight, the students started chattering about ideas.

"I'm so doing mine on the time I visited Japan!"

"I think I'll work with the house fire my family went through last year…"

"I call Childhood!"

Lovino rolled his eyes at the ideas of the people at his table. "I have no idea what I want to do mine on," he muttered, shrugging nonchalantly. "There's nothing important enough."

Feliciano's eyes shot open wide in surprise, "_Fratello, _Ve~ Out of all of the things you've been through, you can't name one thing? What about when Nonno took us to study in Spain with him; or when Mama and Papá died; or when the bullying started; or when you were put in the hos—" Feliciano's rambling was cut off sharply by his livid brother.

Lovino slammed his hands down on the table. "Stop naming all of the bad things! I don't want to remember!" the shout made everyone in the room jump. Silence hugged the air so tight that it froze in the student's lungs.

"_Mi dispiace…_" Feliciano whispered, keeping his eyes locked on his lap. His hasty apology came out in a strangled sound, tears pricking the corners of his large, caramel colored eyes.

Lovino took a breath to calm himself down, sitting back in his chair in silence. Once he had gathered his thoughts, he spoke, "Forgive me, _fratellino…_ What about you? What are your ideas?"

Sniffling, the younger Italian reached up to run at his watering eyes with his sleeve. He took a minute to recompose himself, a small reminiscent smile playing at his lips, "Kristopher."

Lovino frowned, "Feliciano…" His voice held warning, as if he were about to start lecturing his twin. "We've been over this; you went to counseling for this. I thought we had gotten over him."

By '_we_' Feliciano assumed he meant '_you_.' "Lovi~ Kris is my best memory," Feliciano argued half-heartedly, still afraid of whether or not Lovino would snap at him again. He twisted his hands nervously, not meeting his brother's eyes, anymore.

Lovino's look of hatred was aimed at the table, but it was clearly directed towards the topic at hand, "Why not the time Nonno took us to Spain?"

Feliciano was silent for a while, shifting in his seat nervously. He was very aware that this argument was no longer about the project, and he hated when his brother tried to skirt this topic. He knew that Lovino hated the topic because he didn't want Feliciano to break down again, but there were times when the topic simply _couldn't_ be avoided anymore.

"I was sick for the most part, had to go home two months earlier because I hadn't recovered."

"What about the other things you mentions? Surely those could give you an idea or two…"

Lovino was _desperate _to get off of the topic. He'd take _any_thing just to move away from the German boy in question. He had never been a fan of the boy, especially after what happened to Feliciano.

Feliciano glared at his older brother. "No. He's my best memory~! I'm not going to simply _forget_ one of the best aspects of my life! I'm so tired of _forgetting_! I'm not going to opt to think of something that means more to _you_. You need to get over your hatred for him. He did _nothing_ to you. He _means_ nothing to you. You aren't going to decide what I can and cannot think of because of _one _thing that happened. He's still the best thing that happened in my life!"

Lovino was shocked. How dare Feliciano refuse to cooperate? The boy was always so willing; he had never once rebelled against anyone before! "Forget about Kristopher, Feliciano. He's nothing, anymore. End of subject."

Feliciano wasn't about to take this! Why should he? "You have no control over what I do and what I think!" He stared incredulously at his twin, finally mustering up the question tugging at the back of his mind, "What is it… What is it, specifically, that makes you hate him so much?" Feliciano leaned back in his seat, eyes now locked onto his twin's in a challenge.

"Because he _left _you when you needed him the _most_!" Lovino shouted, causing the classroom to yet again fall silent.

Feliciano was quiet, allowing his brother time to continue and expand on his explanation.

"He left you with _nothing_—no… no goodbye, no apology, no note, no explanation. And that _destroyed _you. What could I have possibly done to help you? I had never been in a situation like that! And it wasn't like you were willing to talk to anyone—hell, you locked yourself in your room for weeks on end until _Nonno_ finally dragged you out, kicking and screaming and took us to Spain to get away from it all. How could I possibly come anywhere close to liking the boy that made my _fratellino_ cry like that? He _ruined_ you! And I couldn't do _anything_ to make it better." Lovino ran a hand through his hair sighing. "I was pissed. Dios, I was _pissed_. Who would think of doing something so horrible?"

Feliciano's jaw clenched as flashes of his memory passed behind his eyes. "_Fratello…_" he whined pitifully. He sniffled, shaking his head to clear the miserable thoughts passing through his mind.

Lovino sat stock still, watching his brother with hardened emerald green eyes.

The two watched each other for some time, emotions crashing and raging deep within them both.

Feliciano broke the silence first with a cold, "You can't stop me from choosing Kris. End of subject."

And with that, the bell rang, and Feliciano pulled his books into his arms and moved, briskly for the exit. "Don't bother with driving me home. I'll get one of the Beilschmidt brothers to," he called sharply over his shoulder.

**X~*~X**

"_I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, and all at once it's so familiar it seems. I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, can't find the puzzle that fits any piece of part of me."_

**A/N: Kept misspelling **_**Lovino**_** in this chapter for some reason… Would've had this chapter out sooner, but my computer glitched and went all stupid: deleted my entirely written out chapter. **

**More about who Kristopher is soon!**

"**I don't see why people add disclaimers to their stories. I mean obviously they don't own it, or they would be multimillionaires that actually did something with their lives instead of writing things for fanfiction. If they actually owned all of this shit, then it would have actually happened, and they wouldn't even bother to think about this dumbass website." -One of my friends on disclaimers**

**~Melody Syper Carston**


	5. 4 Forgotten Children

**Dreaming Out Loud  
****By: Melody Syper Carston**

Kapitel Vier: Forgotten Children

Ludwig Beilschmidt was a people watcher, and he really didn't notice it himself until his brother had pointed it out to him. It was more of an absentminded pastime he partook in. Observing people and their habits when he wasn't the person speaking or the one being spoken to—which, more often than not, was the case. He picked up on quirks that most didn't pick up on, and it was always interesting to see how these quirks tied into and developed said subject's personality. There was always something new to add to Ludwig's ever expanding list of observations, as well.

Today, he was observing the people he sat with at lunch, for although he sat with the same group every day, he rarely ever paid attention to any of them, finding other, more popular groups to study. All of the boys he sat with were all unique in their own special way, and Ludwig often wondered how the group stayed together for so long when all of their differences started to clash. He quickly realized, though, that—differences aside—they all had their own set of similarities, three in particular: They were along, they were hated by most of the school, and they all looked after each other like a close-knit family. He could see how each person cared for one another similarly yet differently.

He could see how—although Francis had cheated on him—Arthur still forgave Francis after the French teenager had apologized extensively. He could see how quickly their relationship as friends was repaired and that they were once again on speaking terms, Arthur giving Francis advice, encouragement, comfort, and support when needed mixed in with their usual, petty arguments.

He could see how—even though Lovino states he hates the Spaniard with a passion—Lovino would keep his hand just close enough to Antonio's that their knuckles brushed together. He would move even closer when particularly upset.

Ludwig could see how Francis and Antonio would gravitate closer to Gilbert whenever someone would make crude comments about how pale Gilbert was or how demonic he looked. He could also see how Gilbert would do the same thing if one of the other two was being mocked. They stood up for each other ready to fight.

He could see how much Lovino cared for his younger brother, no matter how many times he had called Feliciano an idiot of a little brother. Lovino was always ready to defend his brother. Ludwig could see how protective Lovino was—especially when Feliciano decided to sit next to Ludwig everyday at lunch and Lovino would automatically start spitting out deaththreats and curses towards Ludwig and Gilbert.

And he saw how much Feliciano looked up to the group for guidance. They were all a family, all watching over one another to make sure everyone was safe and sound: Everyone always knew where another was, and if not, it was up to the rest of the group to find their missing.

**X~*~X**

Maybe that was how he got in the situation he was in now.

They had been sitting at their table as they always did… Well, Ludwig and Gilbert and Francis were. Arthur was on the other side of the room, trying to convince Alfred—Arthur's new _squeeze—_ into sitting with _his_ group rather than Alfred's teammates, and there was still no sign of Lovino, Antonio, or Feliciano anywhere.

But as Arthur and Alfred finally sat themselves down across from Ludwig, Antonio and Lovino burst into the large room, both looking rather flustered.

"What's your problem?" Gilbert asked as the two slid closer to the table. He leaned back in his seat, placing his hands casually behind his head.

"We can't find Feli! He's not in here or on the roof, and Lovi said he wasn't in class last block, and he didn't leave because their car's still in the lot, and he won't answer his phone. We can't find him anywhere!" Antonio blurted out, voice a pitch higher in panic.

Francis stretched his arm behind himself to grab Antonio's hand. "_Antoine_, _cheri_, calm down. Panicking isn't going to help you. It only stresses you out more," he paused until he could feel the tension leaving Anotonio's arms before he continued, squeezing the Spaniards hand once, "now, where was the last place you saw Feli? Lovi, you said you had third block with him, _oui?_"

"Yeah. But he wasn't there. How does that help anything?"

"He was in first and second block. He wouldn't stop humming some childish song," Ludwig offered.

"So he's been gone for _at_ _least_an hour and a half. He could be anywhere in this school be now," Arthur sighed. "looks like we'll just have to search the entire place."

Gilbert stood, taking charge of the situation with ease. "Alright, this is how we're going to do this: Luddy you take west. Awesome and Francy-pants will take East. Arthur and Arthur's _toy_ will take north. Toni and Lovi take the south side of the academy. We'll call each other if something comes up, ja?"

"Woah… dude, I'm so not Artie's _pet_." Alfred held his hands up in front of his chest, eyes wide.

Gilbert turned to the American, "Shut up. Yes, you are. Trust me. Right, Artie?"

Arthur smirked, eyes flashing over to the albino before they settled back on the blonde _pet_. A sadistic expression crossed the Brit's face. "If you say so... _pet._"

"Enough!" Lovino and Ludwig growled at the same time, both scowling at the older boys. "This is no time to be joking around."

**X~*~X**

It had been at least twenty minutes and there had not been a single sign of Feliciano. Ludwig was becoming frustrated with this fruitless effort. Why did the academy have to be so big and maze-like? Was it designed just to confuse people and make finding friends and classes a living nightmare? Ludwig felt as though he had never seen half of these hallways.

Ludwig sighed as he came up short on yet _another_ hall. He was getting sick of walking down corridors only to stop at a dead end, empty handed. It frustrated him to no end!

Just as he was about to give up and leave for class—they only had five minutes until the next bell rang—his phone rang, proclaiming that his brother was calling him. He pressed the device to his ear, letting out an exasperated, "Ja?"

"Oi! West, any luck?" Gilbert asked as soon as Ludwig picked up.

Ludwig shook his head before realizing that his brother couldn't see him since their conversation was being held over the phone. "_Nein_…What about you, East?"

"Nope. Oh, hang on. Francis said Artie's calling him." There was a pause on both lines, the only sound was the quiet murmur of Francis's voice in the background. Suddenly, _very_ loud and _very_ French curse could be heard on Ludwig's side.

"_Was_ _ist_ _es_?" Ludwig called, frowning as he tried to organize the rapid voices speaking in two separate languages that were shouting frantically into the phone. "Both of you _shut up_!"

Silence.

"Now, calmly tell me what it is."

"Artie found Feli!" Gilbert answered.

"Where are they?"

**X~*~X**

The group stuck together at all times. Especially when one or the others were in distress. They would team up to stand up for their missing, their insulted, their bullied. Always ready to defend each other when the moment strikes. Never afraid. Never showing fear.

So when the group had reunited and had rushed into the room that Feliciano was apparently held captive in, they immediately searched for the perpetrator.

They were shocked to find Ivan with his fist inches away from Feliciano's partially swollen face, a few nameless thugs cheering him on or holding Feliciano up by the arms.

They were _not shocked,_ however, when they heard a battle-cry from Gilbert as he threw himself at Ivan, tackling the Russian to the ground and beat the Russian senseless, shouting out German curses and other insults.

"_Bruder! Stop! He's not worth your time!" _

Three pairs of arms pulled struggled to pull the albino off of the bloody mass that was Ivan. Gilbert fought against their grips, until the adrenaline coursing through his veins died down and he was left struggling to stand and panting. He spoke quietly, "I trusted you… _willingly _trusted you. And I _liked _talking to you! Unlike everyone else—all afraid of you or too intimidated to stand up to you—I _understood_ you; _I could relate to you._ We were—dare I say it—_friends!_ And you up and decide to beat Feliciano for _what_ reason?"

By this time, Lovino and Ludwig had managed to free Feliciano, and were now trying to support the half conscious boy. Feliciano seemed to be mumbling in Italian, not really making sense of his words if Lovino's expression had anything to say for it.

Ivan growled at the smaller Italians, earning a wince from the both of them. He turned back to Gilbert with a bitter laugh, "Why? Why do you think? Ever since _these_ two showed up, you've gravitated more towards them and away from me. Don't think I haven't noticed; It's quite obvious, you see."

Lovino scoffed, "So you're jealous. Is that it, fatass?"

"Watch what you say, da?" Ivan sneered with narrowed eyes.

**X~*~X**

___"I'm dreaming out loud,  
dreaming out loud, and all at once it's so familiar to see. I'm dreaming out  
loud, dreaming out loud. I can't find a puzzle to fit any piece of part of  
me."_

**A/N: Short chapter is short and hates me very much. I don't like this chapter… It honestly sucks even though I had it all planned out perfectly in my head, it came out as crap. Maybe it's because I got a **_**huge**_** case of writer's block in the middle of it which has **_**yet**_** to let up. Anyway, I'm going off now to work a bit on my RusPru fic I've had stuck in my head (maybe that'll turn out better than this ever did)**

**Reviews give me confident boosts and ideas. They're like medication for the terrible disease that is writer's block.**

"**I don't see why people add disclaimers to their stories. I mean obviously they don't own it, or they would be multimillionaires that actually did something with their lives instead of writing things for fanfiction. If they actually owned all of this shit, then it would have actually happened, and they wouldn't even bother to think about this dumbass website." -One of my friends on disclaimers**

**~Melody Syper Carston**


	6. 5 Underneath

**Dreaming Out Loud  
****By: Melody Syper Carston**

**A/N: *sparkle fingers* Melody's ba~ck… heh. Where has she been…? Let's see… since the last time Melody updated… she visited her Great Grandmother (who lives four hours away), she wrote half of this chapter, she ran her neighborhood with her dogs and twin and nearly passed out from heatstroke, and **_**then**_** for the past week and a half she has been on the couch dying from coughing her vocal cords out (and fever). But she has **_**recovered!**_** (Mostly. Small cough attacks here or there but nothing too serious.) And now presents to all of you followers of this **_**pitifully slow**_** story: Chapter Five of Dreaming Out Loud! ^^;**

**Dedicated to: Siren Jax Carston (mah twinzy cause of certain issues with this website) and Yuugi Arry, midear. Because I promised to update for your sake.**

Kapitel fünf: Underneath

Feliciano was not ready to go to class the next morning. Definitely not. His head ached, his eyes were puffy, his jaw and ribs hurt, his arms were black and blue, and his entire body throbbed. He would have rather stayed home and slept the day—_plus _the weekend—off. But his own twin brother wouldn't allow him to. That wasn't fair in the _slightest_! Lovino had always been allowed to stay home the day after he had gotten in a fight—even when he didn't get in trouble for it—when they had still lived in Italy! And now, Lovino was saying he couldn't use the day to recuperate. How was that in _any_way fair? It _wasn't!_

And, in all honesty, Lovino had acted like he was going to allow his _fratellino_ a break. He had woken up and passed his little brother's open bedroom door, not even glancing into the room as he travelled down the hall to the shower. And he didn't say anything until he was ready to leave, walking into Feliciano's room and yelling, "Get up, _idiota_! I'm not letting you skip again!" When the younger still hadn't moved from under his mound of covers, Lovino acted: Grabbing at the blankets and tugging until his twin was unraveled into the floor. "Get up, Feli."

Feliciano growled as he stood. "I don't see why I always have to go to class when you skipped just about every other day back home," he ranted as he stormed around his room, tossing on his uniform and spending all of five minutes trying to make himself look presentable in the full length mirror hanging on his closet door before he moved into the bathroom.

"Because if you skip every other day—like I did last year—you'll end up failing your classes and having to retake most of them—like I _am_, _this _year. Plus I'm taking a fifth block next term and the semester after that in order to catch up. You wouldn't want that, now would you?" Lovino answered, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at his brother's reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Feliciano turned, giving his twin a quick once over before leaving the room to search for his bag. "E-er… _Non,_ _fratello._"

"Then come on, or we're going to be late."

**X~*~X**

"Yo, Vargas!" a loud, obnoxious voice yelled from across the lot, causing both twins to look up. Feliciano couldn't help the small grin that slid onto his face at the look of his brother's disgusted look as the same voice called again, "Yo, Vargas! Wait up for the hero!" This time the supposed hero threw his hand into the air to wave them down.

"What do you want, burger-bastard?" Lovino growled out.

As the blonde _hero_ came closer to the Italian twins, he started speaking rapidly and animatedly about kicking ass and heroes. Once he was finished, he stilled, grinning and awaiting a reaction—surely one of praise from the twins.

But Lovino merely raised a single brow, turning to his equally confused little brother, who was currently humming some random tune and swinging his arms around absentmindedly as he let his eyes wander around the lot. He raised his hands up and shook his head, as he spoke again, "Slow the fuck down, _idiota_. Some of us don't speak American. Now, say again?" Lovino leaned back against the side of his car and crossed his arms over his chest.

Alfred emitted a bark of laughter, throwing his head back in the process. "My speeches _can _be kind of intimidating. I'll slow it down so you guys can focus better." He nodded to himself before continuing, "Don't worry about the Russian-pain-in-the-ass. Me and Gil totally took care of him for ya. Kicked his ass so hard, that he won't be able to process what happened for the next week or two. Thought I should tell ya since I am the hero after all."

Lovino rolled his eyes, but thanked the blonde teen anyway, adding in a hasty, "But I could have done so perfectly alone, bastard. Don't think I'm going to start calling you 'Hero' just because of what happened yesterday." And with that said, Lovino walked off, hand-in-hand with his twin once more.

**X~*~X**

Feliciano wanted to sink into a hole and die. Slowly and painfully and _quietly_. He was _shocked._

He went to a _boys_ academy! _All boys academy._ Information shouldn't have travelled _that_ fast in an _all_ boys academy, _right? _Wasn't it supposed to be the _girls_ that gossiped? And with no girls within a mile radius of the academy, wasn't he supposed to be _fairly_ safe from fast travelling news? Well… He understood that he wasn't safe from all gossip. Not with the people he sat with. Alfred_, _Gilbert_, __**Francis**__._ But he didn't think that by the next day _first block would think that he had gotten into a _fight _with the Russian and had been beaten within an inch of his life and that Ivan had pulled a knife somewhere in the middle of it!_

Students were swarming his desk, throwing out questions and sharing their own versions of the story with him as soon as he sat down. They were all wrong! Where did they get their stories? Who told them these versions?

"I heard Lovino was also in the fight and that he didn't even try to stop it! He ran off like the coward he is!"

The pencil Feliciano had been sketching with snapped between his tensed fingers. "What. The. _Fuck_?" he growled, standing. "Look, I don't know where the _hell_ any of you got your information. But you're all wrong: Obviously I wasn't beaten within an inch of my life, or I wouldn't be standing here speaking to you; obviously Ivan didn't pull a knife, or he would have been suspended, and I'm pretty sure I saw him _this morning;_ and _obviously_ we're not thinking of the same Lovi because I _know_ _mio fratello_ didn't run off like a coward. In fact he was one of the first in on the action; now, please go the hell away and don't bother me for the rest of the day. I'm not in the mood to deal with any of you." And with a smile trailing the end, he shooed them away and plopped back down in his seat: Only to bury his head in his arms.

"Hey," a hand rested on top of Feliciano's head, making the small Italian sigh and glance up. "You alright? That was a bit… intense." Ludwig's eyes were filled with concern for his friend as he slowly lifted his hand.

Feliciano smiled a bit forcefully, "Just a bit stressed is all."

Ludwig nodded in understanding.

"Ve… Gil didn't…_maim_ Ivan _too_ bad, did he?" Feliciano's voice was quiet and slightly worried. Sure, he wanted the Russian to feel his own wrath, but _Gilbert's_ wrath was something else _entirely_, and Feliciano almost wanted to feel _sorry_ for whatever got in the way of the angered albino.

The blonde rubbed a hand over his mouth as if he were trying to hide a smile tugging at his lips. He shook his head. "Ivan got what was coming to him, but bruder was stopped before he could do any serious _physical_ damage," Ludwig answered with a shrug.

"If not physical, then what?"

The German made a slightly pained face, "Did you know Gil broke it off with Ivan because of what he did to you?"

Feliciano's eyes widened and he shook his head slowly, "No, I didn't even know they were together. I mean, I knew they hung out, but I didn't think that—" Ludwig cut the Italian off.

"I-It's complicated… they were… but they weren't. Like… _Like_ Francis and Arthur were."

"And Gil broke up with him because of _me_?" Feliciano felt so _guilty_! Gilbert had seemed so carefree when he was with Ivan and now they were over and it was all his fault and __—

"_Feliciano_!"

Feliciano's eyes snapped up to the German's. "Ve?"

"You're _overreacting_. Calm down. It wasn't you're fault."

"But how is this not _my_ fault? If I hadn't have moved here in the first place, Gilbert would not have become friends with me and then Ivan wouldn't have been jealous and—"

"F-Feliciano, shut up," Ludwig was… _laughing_? Had he said something funny? He didn't think so…

Feliciano tilted his head in confusion, "Ve? What's so funny?"

Ludwig rolled his eyes and sent the Italian another chuckle, "For someone so carefree, you worry a lot. And overreact. Just listen to yourself. Didn't you say that you came here because of a problem with your last school? And now you're worrying because of a simple argument between two guys that argue _all_ the time. You need to cal—"

"But this time it really was my fault! How can I calm down?"

Another eye roll. "It was _Ivan's_ fault. He's an _arschgesicht _that's self-centered and childishly possessive. Had _he_ not done anything, nothing would have happened."

Feliciano nodded slowly.

**X~*~X**

When lunch finally rolled around, Feliciano was about ready to flee the school. The questions had yet to stop, and according to his brother, Lovino had been just as tortured by the constant questions. They both made their way over to their table, sitting on opposite sides as usual. "Have you guys been bothered by everyone questioning you?" Feliciano asked as he sat down, Lovino passing the younger a tray of food.

Gilbert laughed, "Awesome isn't it? Ha, I love it!"

"The only thing you love is having your ego stroked."

The albino's eyes narrowed and he turned to flip the speaker off. "Hey, how about you shut it, _Artie_? You're just jealous because your _pet_ is getting more attention then you are."

Alfred scoffed, "I'm not Artie's pet…asshole…"

"Stop calling me Artie! My name is _Arthur!"_

"Ah, the beauty of _l'amour~!"_

"Go away, French _bastardo_!"

"Aw, Lovi, that's not very nice~!"

"I wasn't talking to you, tomato freak."

"Would you guys just _shut_ _up_?"

Silence.

"Hey, West!"

"Bruder, sit down, you're getting weird stares."

"Ah, let the people bask in my awesomeness. They've probably been wanting to all of their worthless lives."

Feliciano smiled. He missed this insane normalcy.

**X~*~X**

"So how far have we gotten in our projects? Hopefully a big dent, yea? The end of the year is going to come up and bite you soon, and those of you who haven't even started are going to be in major trouble."

Feliciano shot a look at his brother, "_Fratello_, have you even chosen a topic?"

Lovino didn't look worried in the slightest. In fact, he looked bored, "No. Why the hell should it matter though? I still have three months before the year ends. That's still plenty of time to choose a topic, and figure something out. Have you even started on yours, yet?"

The younger brother shook his head with a sigh, "I've been distracted. But I guess I can start on it while you're out with Toni tomorrow."

A look of horror crossed the older twin's face, "_Che palle_… I completely forgot that I promised to go out with him." He slammed his head down on the desk with a groan, mumbling obscene Italian curses into the laminated surface.

Feliciano hesitantly raised a hand to pat his brother on the shoulder, afraid that he might get his arm ripped off for the gesture, "There, there, _fratello_. It couldn't be _that_ bad, right?"

**X~*~X**

Feliciano hoped to _god_ he was right. As he watched his brother that Saturday, storming around and snatching his belongings off of counters and tossing them into his bag. Feliciano bit his lip as he watched, his brother's unusual amount of energy making him _very_ nervous.

"_Ave, o Maria, piena di grazia, il Signore è con te. Tu sei benedetta fra le donne e benedetto è il frutto del tuo seno, Gesù Santa Maria, Madre di Dio, prega per noi peccatoti, adesso e nell'ora della nostra morte. __Amen," _he muttered as soon as Lovino had exited their home. '_For Antonio's sake,_' he thought to himself with a nod, "Better safe than sorry."

He scanned the room, making sure his brother didn't leave anything, and almost laughed when he spotted the older twin's phone lying innocently on the table. With a grin, Feliciano scooped the poor forgotten phone up and skittered out of the door and down the stairs of the complex. "Lovi!" he yelled as he trailed after his brother. "_Fratello_, wait!"

A white SEAT Ibiza pulled up to the younger Italian's side, and the window coasted down to reveal his older brother—clad in sunglasses—sitting in the passenger seat. "What now?" he asked as he noticed his brother outside of the window. "You didn't try to blow the place up, did you? I told you electrical wires and showers don't mix! Not even when food's involved."

Feliciano shook his head, "Aw, come on _fratello_, that was only _one_ time! Why do you hold that over my head?" He crossed his arms and pouted, phone long since forgotten.

"Because it was one of the most idiotic problem I've had to face coming home to. Honestly! Who—in their right mind—decides that making toast in the shower is a _brilliant_ idea?"

"I do," Feliciano announces with a blissful smile on his face. He could have sworn that he heard Lovino mumble something that sounded very similar to, "Yeah, well, _you_ definitely aren't in your right mind." But being the good, _forgiving_ little brother he was, he decided to ignore the comment altogether.

"Was there something you needed, or were you just out here to strike up a conversation?" the older twin finally asked with an exasperated sigh and tone. "Because I could gladly be on my way."

The weight in his hands made Feliciano remember the reason he had come outside in the first place, and he reached through the open window to drop the cell phone onto his brother's lap. "You forgot this!" He then leaned forward to press an innocent peck on Lovino's cheek. "Hi, Tonio! Bye both of you! Have fun, call me if you need something; hey, Lovi, you wouldn't mind if one or two people visited, right? _Fantastico_! _Ti voglio bene, mio fratello! Ciao!" _And with that said, the small Italian equickly sprinted back inside, ignoring Lovino's calls of, 'Get back here, you _idiota_ _fratellino_! I wasn't done talking to you!'

As soon as he was safely inside of his and Lovino's shared apartment, his phone blared.

"Hello? Feli here~!"

"_Idiota!_ By people, who are you talking about? And how many? You better not be inviting those two German bastards over! You won't see the light of day tomorrow if you do! Once I get through with you, Italy's going to look like a walk in the park, ya hear me?" Lovino greeted, pleasant as always.

In the background, Antonio sighed and said, "Oh, let him invite the lesser of the evils. He should be able to be trusted with a guest or two. Gil and Luddy are way better than Gil alone and combined, they still aren't as bad as Francis is. Plus Ludwig doubles as a babysitter, so you can make sure Gil isn't doing something life threatening and Feli doesn't blow the complex up by swimming with toast, again."

There was a pause, and then Lovino spoke again, "Shut up; you aren't helping my argument."

Feliciano sighed, "I won't invite them, _fratello._"

Another pause; this one filled with surprise and shock. Finally, "Y-you won't?"

"No, I'll invite… Alfred and his brother."

"Jones has a brother?"

Antonio answered again, "His name's Matthieu. He's Francis's cousin, and he usually hangs out with Gil and Braginski when they're up on the roof. He get's mistaken for his brother a lot… or he's just plain invisible. He used to date Gil, ya know? For a month or two—Gil's got a knack for hooking up with all of the wallflowers—now they're just good friends."

"Absolutely not French blood that hangs out with the insane albino and a guy that wants my brother's skin? No."

"Aw! But Mattie's not like that. He's a sweet boy. Really passive… unless hockey's involved. He can calm Alfred's rambunctiousness down too. Another babysitter."

Feliciano was enjoying the way Antonio always defended him. It made him feel powerful, something he rarely ever felt.

"Fine. Those two are okay. Anyone else, and you'll be out for the night."

Feliciano was _not_, however, enjoying the pleasant way that threat had been put. It held too much sinister meaning behind it.

"Mhm! Gotcha, _fratello!_"

**X~*~X**

"Welcome to my studio!" Feliciano muttered as he pushed the door open and allowed the two older boys inside.

"This is quite impressive, Feliciano. I'm guessing this is one of the spare bedrooms of the flat?"

"_Verdammt_! Hey, _Westen_! How come _Vati_ won't give me a room this big for my own stuff? Awesomeness needs room to grow, ya know?"

"_Sí! _The top floor get's three bedrooms and _Nonno _allowed us to rent one of these so that we could turn one into the Art Studio. It's mainly mine, though, since Lovi only ever uses coal and sketchpads. Lots of art-on-the-go, you see," Feliciano explained, watching as Gilbert marveled at the spacious room.

Okay, so, yes. He lied to his brother about who he was going to invite over their home. So what? Did he regret it? Not so far, no. He just wanted someone that he could talk to! Some people that he actually understood rather than people he's only ever talked to twice. It was always smarter to invite someone over that you trusted, right?

"I see." Ludwig then turned to his brother and answered as if it were clear as day, "Because, bruder, you haven't done anything productive in the last five years. _Vater_ finds it pointless, and I for one see it that way, as well."

Feliciano glanced over to the albino once more. "What do you do, Gil?" as he asked this, he walked over to a pile of sketchbooks and started fishing through them. "There you are!" He pulled out a leather-bound notebook that had definitely seen its better days. Clipped to it was a photograph, bent at the corners and discolored from mistreatment, but still recognizable. Freeing the photo from its binds, the young Italian moved over to the other side of the room and clipped the photo to an empty easel—above a blank canvas.

"Music." Gilbert answered as he plopped down on a stool in front of the counter on the other side of the room.

"Do you sing or play an instrument or…?"

The albino smirked, "I play violin… and flute."

This earned a scrutinizing glance from the younger Italian. "I would have never pictured you as a classical music type of person. More… metal and punk. Guitars and drums and that screeching stuff Matthieu seems to like." Feliciano made a face of obvious distaste as he remembered the time the quiet Canadian's phone had gone off in class and had startled most of the class with its loud screech that the boy had later stated _was_ music.

"Oh, but I do like that sort of music. Variety is nice too, though."

Feliciano nodded to himself, working quietly for a moment on adjustments and grabbing brushes and choosing paints.

Conversation continued after a while, simple topics such as the weather and their plans for the weekend and why dogs or cats were the better animal. Sometimes the talk would drift back into a comfortable silence, where the three would merely enjoy each other's presence; other times it would slow into an awkward pause, which Gilbert would break by poking fun at his brother or Feliciano would quickly change the topic. But all in all, they were just three ordinary friends hanging out with nothing better to do other than talk and joke and laugh.

"So do you think jealousy is a good motivation?" Feliciano finally asked. The question had been weighing on his mind all day, but he hadn't had the courage to ask it yet.

The other two were quiet at first, thinking over the question, and Feliciano glanced at them to make sure they had heard him.

"I guess it depends on what it is you're trying to motivate yourself for," Gilbert answered, fingers tracing small shapes on the counter. He swiveled around so that he was facing Feliciano's back.

"How so?" Ludwig asked, sending a rather confused look towards his older brother.

The albino shrugged, "I mean… if it's innocent. Say, 'I'm really jealous of that one guy's car, so I'm going to motivate myself with that jealousy to work harder to earn the money.' Then yeah. Jealousy is an okay motivation to work with. But if it's something like, 'I'm jealous because you aren't paying enough attention to me. So I'm going to motivate myself with the jealousy so that I can beat that person up, and then you'll have to pay attention to me.' Then absolutely not."

Feliciano nodded, "I guess that makes sense."

"Ya know, Ivan didn't mean it the way he made it seem, right? He doesn't _hate_ you. Just because you and Lovi moved here and I became friends with you. He doesn't hate you. He was just jealous and felt out casted."

Ludwig looked over at his brother incredulously, "So even after all of this, you're _still_ on his side?"

Feliciano was shocked as well, but he hid the feeling easier.

"_No!_ Well… yes… but… It's hard to explain! I am, but, at the same time, I'm completely against him. E-er… I'm on his side, but not for what he did." Gilbert rubbed at his cheek as he tried to piece together his sentences. "Look, Ivan isn't right in the head. Because of certain…_issues_… in his past, he acts a bit childish and immature when facing the public or in a social situation. So he doesn't handle things such as jealousy or anger like everyone else. He sort of possessive and controlling, but it's because he's not sure how to handle these emotions. He's not a bad guy—no matter how much Alfred wants to make him seem like he is—he's just misunderstood. And just needs someone that'll understand him. And that's why Birdie and I hang out with him. We both have been in similar situations as he has, and understand him from a personal standpoint."

Feliciano seemed to finally understand why Gilbert had always liked the Russian. Why he could always be seen around the boy, why he always defended him, why he wasn't intimidated by him unlike everyone else. And it made Feliciano even more curious. What was so similar in their life that could cause such a mental breakdown in a student? Why did it affect the boy so greatly? And what could have been done to stop it?

But he didn't ask any of these questions, knowing that now wasn't the time for questions about the past. He merely nodded and continued to work on his art project.

**X~*~X**

"We need to get going… Sorry, Feliciano. We would stay longer, but _Vater's_ expecting us back, soon," Ludwig explained apologetically as he stood and stretched.

Feliciano smiled, "Oh, it's perfectly alright. Lovi's going to be back soon anyways."

Gilbert moved over towards his brother, "_Vati's_ so mean, cutting down on Awesome's social life. It's suffocating, honestly."

"Oh, please…"

Feliciano walked with them down to the lot in front of the complex, listening to their constant bicker and tease with a laugh.

As they were both slipping into their car—a silver Audi R8—Feliciano had an idea.

"Gilbert, can I see your phone?" he asked, not even sure why he was going through with his crazy plan. Maybe it was to set his mind at rest? Or maybe what Lovino said was right and he _definitely wasn't in his right mind._ But it didn't matter at that moment. All that mattered was getting a hold of Gilbert's phone. He waited patiently for the albino to respond, watching him expectantly.

"Um… Sure?" He slowly extended the phone out of the window and into the Italian's awaiting palm. "Just don't get on the web, 'kay? I used up all of my data."

Feliciano thanked him quietly, and set to work, scrolling through Gilbert's contacts until he found what he was looking for.

"_New Text Message._

_To: Ivan Braginski  
From: Awesome_

'_This is Feliciano Vargas. Just wanted to let you know:_

…_I forgive you.'"_

Feliciano smiled and pressed send before handing the phone back to the albino. "Thanks again! And thanks for visiting! We should do this again, _sí_?"

"Yeah! Awesome is definitely returning~!" Gilbert called as his brother nodded.

The younger Italian felt lighter as the car pulled away from the home.

**X~*~X**

"_I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, and all at once it's so familiar it seems. I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, can't find the puzzle that fits any piece of part of me…"_

**A/N: I keep forgetting to add in my lyrics. OTL I apologize for the crappy ending. I couldn't figure out what to do with it… Yes, I do have a plan for this story. Don't question me! Oh, has anyone caught on to my theme with cars? (Is a total sports car junkie) It's a rather simple theme… Oh, and look~! There's a touch of plot in this chapter! *Gasp!* Yay for plot! Fanfiction's major updates worry me… Something isn't right about them… I dunno…**

"**I don't see why people add disclaimers to their stories. I mean obviously they don't own it, or they would be multimillionaires that actually did something with their lives instead of writing things for fanfiction. If they actually owned all of this shit, then it would have actually happened, and they wouldn't even bother to think about this dumbass website." -One of my friends on disclaimers**

**~Melody Syper Carston**


	7. 6 When I Grow Up

**Load up your six-shot, baby  
Put it to my head.  
Pull the trigger, blank I figure!  
Put it to me dead!**

**I apologize for the wait. Kill me if you please.**

***Shot***

**Dreaming Out Loud  
****By: Melody Syper Carston**

Kapitel Sechs: When I Grow Up

"So what did you do while I was gone?" Lovino had questioned as soon as he had found his brother—back in the studio painting and listening to strange music. The older plopped down on one of the stools and proceeded to watch his twin brother as he worked. He _almost_ felt jealousy bubble up in his stomach as he watched, for Feliciano had always been the better artist between the two…_almost_. But he quickly crushed the feeling in denial. He was _not_ _jealous_ of his _younger_ brother's art skills! So what if Feli could hold a paintbrush steadier than Lovino could? Who cared if Feli could work with almost every medium perfectly while Lovino could only work with coals and Copics?

Definitely _not_ Lovino, that's who.

Feliciano merely shrugged halfheartedly before setting his brushes and pallet down to turn to his twin, "Talked, painted, worked, ate…" His list continued for a while longer as the younger named some other, even vaguer activities that he had completed while his brother had been missing. He stopped to grin and change the subject, "How was Lovi's date?"

Lovino's face heated at this inquiry. "It was _not_ a _date_!" he shouted, balling his hands up into loose fists at his sides. "The bastard just took me window shopping and paid for dinner. And then we walked around in the park for a while's all. Not a date, dammit!" With a huff, he slouched back down on the stool, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance at the constant teasing.

Feliciano giggled at his brother's reaction. "What types of stores are there? Anything that caught your eye?"

The older snorted and rolled his eyes, "Exactly why we went _window_ shopping. Not fashion wise. It's all Aéropostale and Abercrombie and Fitch and American Eagle and so on… too name brand in my opinion. This summer we are going to have to go _all_ out when we visit back home. Complete new wardrobes and the likes. There were a couple of galleries and smaller shops down there that you might like thought. Nothing that caught _my_ eye, though." He shrugged nonchalantly.

Feliciano nodded, eyes shut tight in a blissful smile, "Maybe I'll go check it out, later."

For a while they sat in silence, Feliciano resuming his painting and Lovino resuming his watching. A peppy Italian song played in the background, echoing around the studio. Lovino could see his younger brother's lips moving, presumably mouthing the lyrics of the song playing as he was prone to do when he was too focused on a task to sing out loud.

"What are you working on?" Lovino finally asked, sliding off of the stool and moving closer to get a better look. When he was finally close enough, though, he almost regretted asking. A sickening feeling tugged in his stomach as he stared at the two children in a flower field holding hands and laughing together. "So you really are choosing him as your subject…"

"Ve~ I said I was going to. Why wouldn't I?"

"I just figured you might…e-er…choose a new topic, dammit."

Feliciano shook his head, but didn't respond otherwise. He merely continued on in focused silence.

"I'm going to bed," Lovino announced rather abruptly, leaving the room just as quickly.

The younger twin flinched slightly as he heard the audible slam of his brother's door. For a pause, Feliciano considered finishing the piece before he too left for bed, but the more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt from upsetting his brother like he did. So with a sigh, the Italian moved to the sink to clean his brushes before flicking the lights out and shutting the music off. He trudged to his room and flicked out his lights as well. Once he navigated his way to his bed and his head hit the pillow, he realized just how exhausted he was.

**X~*~X**

_He was running. He wasn't sure if it was from something or towards something, but he was running nonetheless. His eyes shifted around as his legs carried him forward only faster, but he didn't see anything to run to! He glanced over his shoulder to see if anything was gaining on him, but there was nothing. And slowly, his feet slowed their movements until he was standing completely still in an empty field of wildflowers. "Ve~?" He looked around confused. What was he doing here? And… where was here? He turned a complete circle, searching for anything familiar._

"_Feli? What's the matter? Are you tired already?" a voice called just over a small hill before him. "Feliciano?" The voice grew closer and closer until a figure was accompanied by it._

_A small familiar figure. A halo of blonde hair, shocking blue eyes, cherub-like features. Yes, this person was _very_ familiar to the Italian._

"_K-Kristopher…" He whispered, eyes popping open in surprise. He watched as the child moved closer to him, wind blowing his hair into his eyes that were squinted against the sun behind Feliciano. Only when the blonde was about a foot away did he realize that Kristopher was slightly taller than him. _

"_There you are. I was worried you had gotten distracted again. What made you stop?" He smiled down at Feliciano, cocking his head to the side slightly—a habit that Feliciano himself had picked up from the blonde._

_"E-er, well, I…" _

_Kristopher laughed and held out his hand for the Italian to take—which he did ever so hesitantly. "C'mon." He lead the Italian a little while longer before dropping the other boy's hand and taking off again. "You're still It, ya know!" he called over his shoulders, laughing again as he did so._

_Feliciano watched him, mouth open in a gaping 'O' shape as he watched the blonde's figure becoming smaller and smaller. "Ve~ Kristopher, _wait!_" He took off after the blonde again, hand outstretched in order to grab onto the blonde once he had gotten closer. Faster and faster he ran, right on the blonde's trail; until, "Gotcha!" he called as his hands wrapped themselves around Kristopher's shoulders._

_Kristopher stopped running._

_Feliciano expected the boy to turn around and laugh again, saying something like, 'So it's my turn now?' but the blonde budge. "K-Kris…?" Slowly, he walked around the boy to get a better look at him. But before he could ask what was wrong, the blonde's knees buckled and he collapsed in the grass below them. This caused a gasp to leave the Italian's lips, and he quickly crouched down next to the boy. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you—Kris!"_

_Slowly, the blonde before him began to disappear, fading as if he were a mirage under the hot sun. _

"_Feliciano, don't worry about it. I'm fine…" he whispered as he disappeared completely._

**X~*~X**

"_No! Kris!"_

Feliciano jackknifed in bed, eyes searching wildly for the blonde in question, breathing erratically, hands shaking as they clutched at his blanket. _'Feliciano, don't worry about it. I'm fine…'_

He heard a dull _'thud'_ somewhere in the distance, and then the pounding of footsteps. A '_click'_ later, he was being blinded by the lights of his room. He shirked back from the brightness, groaning and shielding his eyes with his hands until they adjusted. Only then did he notice his brother standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a shirt he probably picked up off of the floor on his way out of his room. "What the hell?"

'_Ah_, _lovely_ _greeting_ _as_ _usual_, _Lovi,'_ Feliciano thought dryly as he tried to calm his hammering heart.

"Well, you're the one waking me up at three in the morning because of your screaming!"

He hadn't realized he had spoken aloud. "_Mi_ _dispiace_, _fratello_…"

For a while, Lovino stood in the doorway, as if contemplating whether he should stay with his twin or whether he should just go on back to bed. After thinking it over, though, Lovino decided to stay; sighing, he moved to sit down next to his twin, gauging his reaction as if Feliciano were a scared wild animal. "Nightmare…?"

Feliciano nodded slowly, bringing his knees up to his chest and leaning back against his headboard. _'Feliciano, don't worry about it. I'm fine…'_

"Y-You wanna talk about it… or… e-er, go to bed…?" Lovino wasn't all that great with comforting people, even his own twin. He always left that up to _Nonno_.

He shook his head and slowly sunk under the blankets again.

"Bed then, I guess." Lovino spent the night in Feliciano's room that night, keeping watch over his younger twin. He kept a protective, comforting arm around the other's waist—the only way he knew _how_ to comfort the other.

**X~*~X**

"_Feliciano," Kristopher murmured to the younger Italian boy standing next to his bed. _

_Feliciano nodded hesitantly, tears pricking his eyes as he once again took in the frail state of his childhood friend. His lip wobbled and his shoulders shook as he suppressed his cries of anguish, "I-I came t-to say goodbye. They said I didn't have to stay here anymore… and Nonno came to pick me up. I'm leaving in ten minutes."_

_The blonde watched the young Italian with unwavering eyes. He finally shifted over in his bed to make room and patted the now empty spot next to him. _

_Feliciano complied, crawling up and sitting down next to him. Both stared at their laps for a long pause, not sure what to say to each other. Feliciano reached over and grabbed the blonde's smaller hands in his, clutching to it like a lifeline._

"_You'll still visit, _ja_?" Kristopher asked in a soft whisper that was barely noticed by the other. Icy blue eyes flickered over to glossy hazel ones, pale hands squeezed the lightly sun-kissed ones sandwiching his. He tilted his head until it was resting against Feliciano's shaking shoulders, exhaustion evident in his movements._

_Feliciano nodded, "_Sí_. You'll wait for me, right?"_

"_Mmhmm…"_

"_You'll be okay, right? You won't…wo-won't—" _

"_Feliciano, don't worry about it. I'm fine…"_

"_Feliciano… come on. We have to go now," A new voice called, softly into the room. _

_The young Italian nodded slowly, tears once again pooling into his eyes. He quickly threw his arms around the blonde's neck, waiting until he felt a weaker hold across his back before he squeezed the other and whispered a soft and quick, "Bye…" He pressed a kiss against the corner of the other boy's mouth, and then he was gone._

_That was the last time Feliciano had seen Kristopher._

_**X~*~X**_

"Guys, I am here to make an announcement," Alfred greeted as he sat down at the lunch table the next day. Behind him was another boy, one of which many didn't recognize as he too sat down—to the right of Alfred.

Feliciano stared at the other boy, eyes narrowed slightly as he tried to place where he had seen the blonde.

"Birdie~! What are you doing here? Usually, you're with Ivan up on the roof for lunch. Finally decide to grace the world with your presence?" Gilbert snickered and plopped down next to Matthieu.

"Al told me sitting with you all was mandatory today. Said he had something to say and didn't feel like saying it twice," Matthieu muttered, rolling his eyes and grabbing a fry off of the albino's tray.

"Well, go on, git, and tell us what's so bleeding important!" a certain acid green haired punk growled next to the supposed Hero of the group. "Or did you forget?"

Alfred sent the Brit a charming smile and tapped his temple with his forefinger. "Nope! 'S all right up in here."

"Then get on with it, fatass!" Lovino huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching down in his seat. His green eyes flickered around the lunch room—he was obviously _extremely _bored.

Alfred seemed to be snapped to attention at this and nodded again, still grinning. "Next week is my last week to be here!" He thrust his fist in the air letting out a loud whoop of excitement once he had announced this.

This piece of news seemed to get many reactions: From Lovino a small victory dance and a quiet, "Thank _god_." From Matthieu a look of confusion and a shake of the head. From Ludwig a small, almost unnoticeable eye-roll. From Feliciano a small, "Aw, we'll miss you!" From Gilbert, Francis, and Antonio high-fives and congratulations t other younger American. And from Arthur a scowl that was on the verge of becoming a lecture.

"Nah wai' a fackin' moment!" Arthur started—a thick Cockney accent layering his speech. "Wot 'a bloody 'ell d'ya mean by, 'Nex' week's me last'?"

Alfred blinked, "And you talk about _my_ grammar being terrible…" He shrugged and answered plainly, "I mean what I said. I'm dropping out. Next week's my last week."

"Droppin'—Why?"

Another shrug. "Well, I figure since I don't need a diploma for my dream career, then why bother with it? It takes too much time!"

Arthur gaped at the American teen, "Why bovvah wif I'? _Why bovvah wif I'?_ 'Ave you gone _mad_? Dat's some o'—" Before Arthur could even go into how much rubbish Alfred's reasoning was, Matthieu cut him off quickly and effectively.

"So if don't need to graduate high school for you 'Dream Career,' what job is it that you are looking into?" He questioned, seemingly very interested in his brother's descision.

Alfred sent a smirk towards his brother, "I wanna join the Army!"

"It's 'want to,' you git, not 'wanna.' And why shouldn't you finish your education first?" Arthur crossed his arms aver his chest with a frustrated huff.

"_You're _one to talk! '_Do you_' not 'd'ya' and it's '_my_' not '_me_'. _Why_, you ask? Why _not!_ Getting a GED's faster and I'll be out in the fields sooner! I've always wanted to enlist into the army. It makes me feel like a true American Hero!"

"People with a diploma are more likely to be chosen over people who only have a GED. You know that, right? And that means that they will have higher expectations for you to meet—you all with a GED," Arthur reasoned.

Alfred scoffed and shrugged, "Oh, come on Artie! Look: My parents already agreed to it, we took the ASVAB test last year and my scores were _way_ high—an 80—which pretty much says I have the option to choose _any_ job. All I need is my GED and entry. Plus the army has the highest rate of GED acceptances." He sighed, "I just want to get out there sooner so I can get in on the action, Artie."

"Don't call me Artie! What if you don't get accepted? It's easier to finish school than to go back!"

"Then I'll just take up a trade or something. Arthur, don't worry about it! I've got it all planned out!"

"Hm… seems you've thought of almost everything. You've really matured over the years, _cher_," Francis murmured, smiling lightly.

"Ha! Heroes have to think ahead! Always one step ahead of the others. Just in case." He then threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter before letting his head loll to the side, "What about you, babe? You're a senior. What're you doing once you get out of this hell hole?" He reached up and lazily placed his hand over Arthur's.

Arthur rolled his eyes at the pet name. He deadpanned, "College." Sending the American a pointed look before deepening his explanation, "College, and then I'm thinking of becoming a Grammar teacher here, so I can fix the atrocities of American grammar one student at a time."

Alfred snorted, "You just can't stay away from this place can you? You love it here… Because there are so many places to skip classes or so many teachers that will look over quick make out sessions or—?"

"That is _enough!"_ Arthur's face was beet red.

The American shrugged, "Alright, Francis? What's your career? And _please_ don't say Porn Star."

"More like 'don't say Porn God,'" Antonio mumbled just loud enough for Gilbert to hear.

"Yeah seriously," Gilbert muttered back between his chuckles.

Francis rolled his eyes at the comments and answered the question, "_Non, _I am going into culinary school and the into the restaurant business, thank you very much."

"Ve~ ooh, sounds fancy~! Will you invite us to one of the restaurants once you get there?" Feliciano chirped, bouncing in his seat.

"But of course I will, Feli."

"What about you, Gil?"

Gilbert sighed, "Doesn't _Being_ _Awesome_ count as a huge job? I mean, come on, not everyone can be as awesome as I am. It's a _lot_ of work. I am the _King_ of Awesome after all. See, I've already got a job!"

Lovino clapped sarcastically, "Wow, this is a new level of stupid for you. I didn't think it could get worse. Thank you. So _fucking_ much. For showing me otherwise."

Feliciano hid a smile by burying his face in Ludwig's arm. "Lovi! Be nice," he called, voice muffled by the material of the German's uniform.

Alfred nodded, "Good luck with that choice, my friend." He turned to Antonio. "What about you?"

Antonio thought about it for a while before shrugging and answering, "I've always wanted to go into psychiatry... I think I'd have a pretty good handle on it."

"After all the stuff you've been through, I wouldn't doubt it. Suits ya well, dude."

**X~*~X**

"Lovi! Ve~ You still haven't chosen a topic, have you? We only have two months of school left! And you've done _nothing!_ Lovi, what if you don't get finished? _Thenyou'llfailtheassignment! ? Thenyou'llbeayearbehindmeinartandI'llbeallalone! Oh, Lovi I don't want to be alone!"_

Lovino stared at his brother, not sure how to respond.

Feliciano continued to mutter rapidly, a mix of gibberish English and slurred Italian.

Finally, when he noticed his brother going blue in the face from lack of air, Lovino spoke up, "Would you shut up, breathe, calm down, _idiota_? _Dio! _I've still got two months! That's no big deal~! I'll figure it out, and how the hell do you know if I have or haven't done anything? For all you know, I've got this really _great_ idea that I'm just not sharing with you. I work with charcoal remember? Lots of work on-the-move. I could be working in my room whenever I say I'm going to bed. You don't know if I am or am not."

"W-well, are you?"

"If I've kept it a secret this long, why the hell would I tell you now?"

"I don't know! You make it seem like you are…"

Lovino rolled his eyes, "Would it bother you if I was?"

"Y-yes… I mean… no…ye—I don't know~!"

"Then it's _none_ of _your_ business."

**X~*~X**

"_I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, and all at once it's so familiar it seems. I'm dreaming out loud, dreaming out loud, can't find the puzzle that fits any piece of part of me…"_

**A/N: Yes. Kris is HRE. For those who have been questioning me, there's your answer. Kris is an important…**_**dead**_**…character… And I apologize for this filler of a chapter… but it had important facts in it, so it was unavoidable. **

**Headcanons:**

**-For my headcanons on HRE and GERMANY see my fic "Mein Bruderlein"**

**-Arthur falls into a Cockney accent when angered. (Melody finds these accents _highly_ amusing)**

**Yes, the art project does have something **_**vital**_** to the plot. Don't question it. Yes, I did my research about the army. (What do you think my motivation for this chapter was going to be? Of course it was my research!) I was going to throw Al in with the Marines… **_**but**_** after some research and some math, I figured that the army would be a better choice. *nods* Yes, I do have a plan. Yes, I know exactly how this is going to be and exactly how it will end and every reaction and detail and **_**death**_**. But I'm not sharing that until the time comes.**

**Reviews are appreciated, alerts and favourites and critiques and questions are answered personally. Anonymous reviews are answered in my profile. I try to reply as soon as I possibly can.**

—**Melody Syper Carston—**


	8. Hello World

**Dreaming Out Loud  
****By Melody Syper Carston**

Kapitel sieben: Hello World

**Um… ****Well, hello world to all that are reading this. And before you get any farther into this, I'd like to admit that No, this isn't an update on DOL. **_**BUT DON'T PRESS THE BACK BUTTON YET! PLEASE READ THE REST OF THIS.**_** It's super important! And I'd really not want this to go completely ignored, okay?**

**Now… down to business.**

**I'm currently placing this fic, Dreaming Out Loud, on a mix between Hiatus and Abandonment. I'm sorry to all of you who were actually enjoying reading this—if there actually were anybody—but I've lost interest in writing this fic, and I've been getting so many other ideas. I've dreaded sitting down and writing this and the chapters haven't been coming out the way I've wanted them to and I've run out of motivation and I've run out of patience and I go back and read over what I've posted and all I can this is, "This is wrong, wrong, wrong! All wrong!" And I want nothing more than to delete and scrap the story. The plot line is so delicate and I feel like just one wrong word could send it into the toilet.**

**It frustrates me to no end to know that I got to chapter seven before I gave up… because it was going to be such a huge fic and this is only the beginning! I want to do nothing more than delete this fic and start all over, but I can't and I won't for a number of reasons.**

**Instead of actually finishing this fic… I guess I make a bunch of oneshots of sections and separate parts of this huge mess that I was actually looking forward to writing. And hey, maybe later, once I'm motivated again, I might come back to this and work on it again, but for now… To the watchers of DOL and the dedicated reviewers and readers… **

**This is adieu.**

—**Melody Syper Carston**

_Well, hello, sir, we live for Mondays  
Confident we'll get there someday  
Pushing all the papers to a wealthy man_

_Might I say a beautiful tie you wear  
And how do you find  
Such lovely polka dots and stripes these days?_

_Break all my thoughts hit the floor  
Like I'm making the score  
I'm the king of the world  
I'm a popular man_

_Count by zeros to ten  
If you can't, well, I can.  
Don't let anyone wake me_

_I'm dreaming out loud  
Dreaming Out loud  
And all at once, it's so familiar it seems  
_

_I'm dreaming out loud,  
Dreaming out loud.  
Can't find the puzzle that fits any piece of part of me._

_Curtain calls a sanctuary  
Actors in the cloth they freak me out  
Mocking my purpose in the magazines_

_Famous how they make you feel grand  
They're always there to hold your hand  
In times of trouble, they're best of friends_

_Break all my thoughts hit the floor  
Like I'm making the score  
I'm the king of the world  
I'm a popular man_

_Count by zeros to ten  
If you can't well I can  
Don't let anyone wake me_

_I'm dreaming out loud  
Dreaming out loud  
And all at once, it's so familiar it seems_

_I'm dreaming out loud,  
Dreaming out loud.  
Can't find the puzzle that fits any piece of part of me_

_They don't care what you say,  
They don't care what you think  
All they care, what they do,  
Long as you're off beat_

_Take a look at yourself_

_Storm tries to come and wreck my world  
No, I won't let it.  
Stumble to escape through anchored drapes  
Made of bedding_

_I'm dreaming out loud  
Dreaming out loud  
And all at once, it's so familiar it seems_

_I'm dreaming out loud  
Dreaming out loud  
Can't find the puzzle to fit any piece of part of me…_

…_Well, Hello, sir, We live for Mondays..._

**X~*~X**


End file.
